Cathedral of Saint John the Baptist, Charleston

I took off after a CAT & after a really good run of several city blocks, it shot up a utility pole, to the top of a TRANSFORMER!!! Well, it shorted out both poles & vaporized in a brilliant blue flash & a plume of black smoke...I was HORRIFIED!!! Because other than being a CAT, it seemed to be a pretty decent creature. Suddenly, a women with really bad teeth appeared on her front stoop, brandishing a mop & SCREAMING something about her TV reception & some stupid show she followed & that I would BURN IN HELL!!! Jeez...! Between the CAT flashing into a plume of smoke & the crazy woman pronouncing DOOM upon me, I WAS PRETTY RATTLED...so, I shot over to the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist...because I knew they could help me with that HELL thing. Well, after taking a drink in one of their many watering bowls--why are they mounted so high...so that GOD can fill them???--I went into one of those dark little booths and waited. It was a little scary waiting, but eventually the partition slid back & a shadowy figure appeared & he seamed really nice...so I told him about running the cat, the utility pole, the transformer, the brilliant blue flash, the plume of black smoke & the crazy woman, her mop & TV reception & how I was AFRAID of GOING TO HELL (where I didn't think that Beagles were even eligible). The shadowy man told me to say so many "Hail Mary's" & so many "Our Father's" & to light a candle for the CAT--I also lit one for the CRAZY WOMAN & her TV reception--& perhaps to place something in the collection basket (two Milk Bones--a small bite out of one) & that I ought to be OK. Well, I was so RELIEVED!!! So, if you accidentally--or even on purpose (like on "The Soprano's”)--ever kill someone, THIS IS THE PLACE TO COME...because they can fix things right up. Just remember to bring something for the collection basket.

I love the older churches. There seems to be more reverence during mass. Monsignor Brovey's services are always good. I did have someone chatting during almost every silence before and during the mass last night but that is unusual. The crying child happens but that I can usually tune out. The bathrooms are downstairs but not accessible from inside the church. You must go out the front door, turn left, and go down the side of the building. About halfway down there will be a door and the bathrooms are inside in the 1st left hallway. There are 2 and I don't believe they are designated.